Hope Against Hope
by TrustTheCloak
Summary: Before he can stand and fight, Gilan needs somewhere to stash Halt. Outsider POV.


The middle of the night was a strange time to be knocking on someone's door.

Ellie was awake and staring absently into the fireplace when the sharp rapping jolted her from her distant thoughts. She startled, hands clenching at the blanket that was draped over her lap as Molly jumped to her feet, growling deep in her throat as she raised her hackles at the front door. A good dog, her Molly, Ellie thought distractedly as she stared at the door, then out the window at the dark sky, then at the door again. Any normal person should be sleeping... well, Ellie didn't count. She had been having trouble staying asleep for a while now.

...Since Ben had died, actually.

Fighting her growing uneasiness, Ellie padded her way to the door and carefully eased the hinges open the barest fraction, blocking Molly behind her leg but ready to turn the shepherd loose in a instant. The woman enjoyed the companionship that Molly provided, but it times like these that had Ellie feeling especially grateful for her dog. Molly had been Ben's idea; he'd often worried about his wife being alone in the house, and the dog was their compromise.

Whatever Ellie had been expecting to see on her porch when she finally peeked her head out, she certainly wouldn't have guessed this.

A young man, holding up an unconscious companion. Ellie's gaze roved over them - the older of the two was clearly injured, a crimson stain spotting his tunic at shoulder level to about halfway down his side. The younger was straining under the other's dead weight, muscles taut with effort as he tried to hoist his friend up into a better position. Ellie's brow creased as she took in what they were wearing. Those distinctive mottled cloaks...

These were Rangers.

"Please," the younger Ranger said. "I need your help."

Ellie crossed her arms defensively. "It's the middle of the night. Why should I even let you into my house?"

To be clear, Ellie was not frightened of Rangers the way that some people were. She prided herself on being sensible and knew that Rangers were simply very skilled, well trained individuals. However, Rangers or not, the idea of letting two strangers into her home without explanation was... disconcerting, to say the least. Though, as she got a better look at him, Ellie realized that the one was even younger than she had originally figured - only a boy, really. A good looking boy, she'd admit, if not a little too thin. Pretty blue eyes, good cheekbones... if she were younger and less hardened by life, she might have been blushing like a schoolgirl.

Except that right now, this young Ranger's handsome face was marred with distress. "Please," he said again, desperation touching his tone. His head seemed to automatically turn towards the other Ranger, seeming to almost be looking for... reassurance?

Ah. Ellie could've pegged their relationship from that single glance. Definitely an apprentice and his master, the apprentice still instinctively seeking guidance even when teacher was unconscious.

She gnawed her lip for a moment, before setting her jaw and swinging the door all the way open, gesturing the Ranger inside. She had never been good at turning people away, and when the people were an injured mentor and a wide-eyed, fearful child... well, call her soft. The boy seemed to sag with relief before staggering through the doorway and carefully depositing his load onto the sofa. Molly growled in her throat again at the invasion, and Ellie hushed her, fingers curling into the dog's thick coat - partly to calm the dog, and partly to comfort herself.

Gently arranging his unconscious teacher on the cushions, the boy then turned to face her - only to be met with Ellie's tightly crossed arms and frowning face.

"Alright. I let you in. Now, an explanation."

"He's hurt. You're a healer." He said it as a statement, not a question.

Ellie's eyebrows raised. "Says who?" she challenged.

The boy answered without hesitation. "Says the sign by your porch." Ellie's face flushed, and she internally cursed that wretched physician sign that was leaned up against her house - she hadn't wanted it hanging, but she was still not quite ready to throw it out. The sign was half hidden by overgrown grass, but you didn't become a Ranger if you weren't observant.

"I used to be," she replied flatly. "Not anymore. I'm retired."

Clear eyes studied her, not accusingly, just... reading. Ellie shifted uncomfortably. "You look young to be retired," the boy said finally, his eyebrow raising. Ellie huffed out a humorless laugh, her throat tightening.

"Well, when you devote your life to medicine and it still refuses to save the person that really matters to you, you get bitter. Who knew?" Her tone was icy and the words were harsh, but she couldn't bring herself to care. This boy would never understand the way that Ben had suffered, had withered away to a shadow of the bright, wonderful human he had once been, with Ellie's administrations refusing to make a dent. Medicine had failed her, and more to the point, it had failed Ben.

The young Ranger ducked his head, chastened, before speaking again - softer, more pleading this time. "This is the Ranger Halt. A sword caught him in the shoulder, and he's losing too much blood. I'm... I'm not good at stitches. I wrapped it, but... I didn't have much time, and it's not enough." The boy seemed positively stricken at his short coming. "I'd have taken him to the castle, but it's so far away, and I have to... I have to... I have some things to take care of," he said finally. He was hesitant about how much he wanted tell her, Ellie realized. Like he felt... at risk. That was the cause of his fumble.

The woman glanced at the growing bloodstain on the Ranger Halt's tunic. The mentor's injury, the apprentice's vagueness, the strange time of night..."You're in a good bit of trouble, aren't you, Ranger?"

The boy gave a tired grin. "Just a bit."

Oh, that smile - this kid was charming without even trying. The earnest young face, far too young for the situation that it was in... Ben had always believed in helping people, and as for Ellie, well, you didn't become a healer if you didn't have some sort of personal ethic for helping others.

"...Fine," she relented with a sigh. "I'll take a look at your teacher."

The young Ranger stiffened, his face turning suspicious. "I never told you he was my teacher."

Ellie offered him a weak half smile as she began uncovering the older man's wound. "You're not the only one who observes, kid."

The apprenticed rubbed at his head with a smidge of embarrassment. "Sorry, right. It's been a long day; I'm a bit on edge."

"From that 'just a bit' of trouble?" Ellie prodded, frowning as she examined the Ranger Halt's shoulder. The wound was deep enough to explain the considerable blood loss the boy had mentioned. Some stitches would definitely be in order.

"You could say that," the boy murmured wearily in return. Ellie forehead creased as she again noted his reluctance to elaborate. A beat passed before the young Ranger's hesitant voice said, "Do you think... is he going to be all right?"

Ellie glanced up to see him furiously gnawing at his thumbnail as he watched, and she tilted her head sympathetically. The kid was an anxious wreck. "He'll be a hurting unit for a while, but with some stitches and sleep, he should be just fine."

The woman could practically see the tension drain out of the youth's body. It lasted only a moment before he became a flurry of movement again, checking his weapons with a casual competence. The young Ranger's quiet self confidence reminded Ellie that despite his youth, this apprentice was probably more capable than most men twice, even three times his age.

"I have to go. You'll take care of him? Just for a little while?"

Ellie abruptly paused in her disinfecting as she eyed the apprentice with disbelief - this certainly seemed out of character. "Wait, _what? _You're _leaving_? I don't think that your master will be too keen about being left, buddy."

"The people who did this are still after us," the boy answered. "I going to draw them away, I just need somewhere safe to leave Halt. "

Ellie flinched, her eyes widening as she automatically turned to look out the window, half expecting to see a group of armed, angry men storming up her stone path. The young Ranger must have recognized her alarm, because he hastened to reassure her.

"They won't hurt you. Killing me will be their priority - they won't waste time here when I'll be the easier target. I have to finish this."

Ellie hummed a noise of disbelief and raked a hand through her tousled hair. "Oh, great. Stellar job at making me feel better - how am I supposed to be okay with letting a kid go and get himself killed?"

"I'm old enough to fend for myself." The boy's face had closed off again, his voice stern, and Ellie again reminded herself that he was not your typical youth. "Will you take care of Halt?"

Closing her eyes briefly, the woman came to a decision. "I'll look after your teacher," she replied, heaven help her. "Also... I'm Ellie. If we're doing this, I'd rather that we weren't strangers."

The boy's face softened with relief. "Gilan. Thank you. I'll be back in two days," he promised. "When Halt wakes up, tell him..." he trailed off, looking lost for a moment.

"The truth?" The woman prompted, and Gilan winced and shook his head.

"It'll only upset him," the boy tried, but Ellie shook her head resolutely.

"It upsets me too, but here we are. I agreed to take care of him for you. You won't have me lying to him. He deserves to know what you're doing."

She could see Gilan's tight, unhappy expression. "Just... keep him safe?" the boy asked. He wasn't completely on board with her call, Ellie could tell, but he was willing to accept her decision for what it was.

"I will. You have my word."

Patting his mentor's arm, Gilan strode to the door, pausing as he turned the knob. "Two days. Any longer than that, well..." he trailed off before giving a grim chuckle. "Well, let's both hope for the two days." Then the door opened, and the young apprentice Ranger was gone.

Shaking out her trembling hands, Ellie made herself move. She efficiently and professionally stitched and bandaged Halt's shoulder, before awkwardly collapsing into Ben's old armchair. Staring at the unconscious man on her sofa - her patient, now - she shook her head.

Insanity, all of it.

* * *

Her charge started awake - painfully. He groaned, a hand raising to fumble at his bandaged shoulder as he blinked murky brown eyes at his surroundings before his gaze landed on Ellie, who had lifted her eyes from her book when her patient - Halt - started to stir.

"Welcome back," she said pleasantly as she set her book down, feeling rejuvenated and more composed from the several hours of sleep she'd managed to snatch. "How are you feeling?"

"Where am I? Who are you?" Halt asked, his voice frigid as he glared at her - and an impressive glare it was, Ellie admitted, especially considering how weak and disoriented the man must be feeling.

"My name is Ellie, also known as the person who patched the gaping mess that was your shoulder. You're welcome, by the way," she answered, offering him a sip of water. "You can lose the look - if I wanted to hurt you, I really wouldn't have bothered stitching you up first."

His piercing eyes softened slightly, his body relaxing a fraction as he accepted the water. "Thank you," he said softly, making Ellie give a slightly self conscious shrug. Scanning the room again with a practiced eye, the Ranger continued, not without a touch of confusion, "How did I get here?"

"Your apprentice brought you in last night - I'd imagine you don't remember much, you were quite unconscious at the time. How are you feeling now?"

Her patient tensed again, grunting in pain as he again made a grab for his wound. "My apprentice," he gritted out. "Where is he?"

"He's gone."

Halt's head shot up.

Ellie winced, realizing how she had phrased it, and hastened to elaborate. "Gilan said he needed to draw away the people who did this to you... and finish it. He promised to be back by tomorrow night."

Halt, who was already a sickly pale color, went absolutely _grey. _Ellie considered shoving a basin at him in case he vomited. "He didn't," the Ranger hissed through his teeth, his jaw clenched tightly as he slid his legs off the sofa. "Where's my shirt?"

"Hold it. Just, wait. You're not going anywhere with that shoulder. You can barely stand - forget frolicking after armed criminals," Ellie said firmly, reaching a hand out as Halt pushed himself up.

And immediately collapsed back down, his eyes clamped shut as a wave of vertigo hit him. His shoulder had to be absolutely burning with pain from the strain he had used on it to push himself off the sofa, and as she helped support him, it was with an almost knowing wryness that Ellie asked, "Ready to go back to bed now?"

"No," Halt answered tersely, but didn't fight the woman as she rechecked his shoulder - it had started bleeding again during his struggle. "They're dangerous."

Ellie gave her patient a hard stare, setting her jaw stubbornly. "Yes, I got that when you showed up dripping blood all over my patio. That being said, you're in no shape to help anyone right now. You need to rest. Gilan looked like he knew what he was doing."

"He's only an apprentice," the man snapped back, even as he sank deeper onto the cushions as his burst of energy faded.

Ellie didn't answer immediately, sitting quietly as she watched Halt begin to lose his fight with sleep, his face clouded with distress even as his eyes closed. She wasn't hurt by his brusque manner - he was hurting, he was frightened. She could relate to that; the feeling of being responsible for someone in danger and not being able to do a thing about it.

"He'll be back," Ellie said finally, her voice soft and desperately hopeful. It had been so long since she had made herself hope, and now she was clinging to the thread of it she had forced to exist. "He will."

Not that hoping had exactly worked for her, but Ellie prayed to whoever might be listening that this would be different.

* * *

After much sweating and swearing, the Ranger had managed to relocate into a chair where he had a better view of the window. "You should try to rest," Ellie called from where she was stirring cream and sugar into her mug of coffee. She knew she would be ignored, but she felt somewhat obligated to say _something. _

Halt was rigid, watching intently out the window as if he could will his apprentice to appear if he stared hard enough. "I'm fine," Halt answered shortly, as if he weren't doing his best impression of a wooden plank. "I'm fine" was a blatant lie, and they both knew it.

Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, Ellie untied her apron and settled into Ben's armchair again, reaching down with one hand to pat Molly's head as the dog slept. "Fine. You don't want to sleep? Then talk," she said, leaning back and taking a deep sip of coffee.

Halt blinked slowly, then raised an eyebrow. "About what?" He looked surprised and almost amused; Ellie would guess that he was probably unused to being told what to do. At least he was no longer taut as the string on the longbow Gilan had left with them.

She shrugged. "I don't know. The weather. Flowers. Things you like, things you don't like. Friends. Family. Gilan."

His lips quirked curiously, and he nodded toward the mug she was holding. "I like coffee."

"Now we're getting somewhere," Ellie said easily as she stood up to get him a mug of his own. "Cream or sugar?"

"...Honey, actually, if you have it."

The woman wrinkled her nose slightly, but didn't comment as she pulled out her honey jar and stirred a generous spoonful into the dark liquid before handing it off to the Ranger, who took an appreciative sniff before drinking. As he lowered his mug, that steady, dark gaze landed on her and he spoke again, his tone daring her to laugh at him. _You asked for it_, his eyes seemed to say.

"I like to keep wildflowers in my cabin."

"Wildflowers, huh?" Ellie answered wistfully. "Ben used to bring me bouquets of them. Made him sneeze like nothing else, but he knew that I liked them."

Halt raised an eyebrow."Your husband?" He queried, and Ellie felt her throat tighten, having barely realized what she had said.

"My husband," she confirmed, dropping her eyes as she numbly picked at a thread on her skirt. "He's...he's dead now." Despite the sharp slivers of pain it sent through her heart, Ellie wasn't one to sugar coat facts. Ben was gone, and no amount of tiptoeing around the subject would bring him back. She had to be blunt, firm with herself, because if she thought too long or hard about it... well, those were the days that she couldn't get out of bed.

Halt lowered his head. "I'm sorry."

Without warning, her emotions slipped. Tears welled in Ellie's eyes and she impatiently tried to dash them away. This happened, sometimes. Every now and again, something would happen, and the bottled up grief would crash out in a huge wave. "No, it's fine. It's not your fault, and it's not anyone else's fault. Ben just got sick."

Understanding dawned on the Ranger's face. "He got sick," he said softly, nodding slowly as he pieced it together. "You blame yourself."

"It's why... I don't do my practice anymore. If, if I can't keep my husband alive, how can anyone expect me to be able to help anyone else?" Ellie replied, not bothering to wipe the tears anymore as they cut trails down her cheeks. "I can't do it. Ben was wonderful, and kind, and he always believed in me... Right to the end. And... and I let him down."

"You didn't let him down," Halt answered slowly, and Ellie gave a dull, watery laugh.

"Well, I did, but thanks anyway. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you any of this-"

Halt cut her off, his voice unwavering. "Sometimes... people just die. It's not fair, and you're allowed to grieve. But... you keep going. You don't quit, because that's an insult to their memory and everything that they meant to you."

Scrubbing at her eyes, Ellie's breath caught, and all she was able to choke out was, "I miss him. So much." She didn't mention how some mornings she woke up swearing that she'd felt his arms around her only seconds ago, or how sometimes she would bury her nose in one of his shirts so she wouldn't forget his scent, or how she would spend time simply visualizing his face in her mind, terrified of failing to recall what he looked like. She didn't need to.

Meeting the Ranger's dark eyes, she recognized it: a fellow survivor of loss. Somehow, this mutual understanding settled deeper than all the sympathy and bread baskets she had received after Ben's death.

Ellie wiped her eyes and and took Halt's empty coffee cup. "Want a refill?"

* * *

He was clutching his shoulder and swaying, but somehow, Halt was on his feet and pacing. A thoroughly exasperated Ellie was long past the point of trying to get him to sit down.

"I'm going to go look for him."

Ellie shot him an disgruntled look. "Gilan said two days. That could be as late as tonight. You leave now, you could easily miss each other and be even further away when he needs you. Not to mention you're close to collapse from that hole you've been wearing in my floor."

Halt glared. "He's in danger, Ellie."

Ellie glared right back - she'd always had a stubborn streak, and even a Ranger wouldn't break her of it. "I understand that, Halt." They had found a mutual kinship during their earlier conversation, but as the hours continued to pass, Halt's agitation had grown. So had his disregard to his own health - and to reason, it would seem.

Halt threw himself back into the chair, and he looked so utterly distraught that Ellie forced herself to take a calming breath and continue more gently, "He took your horse, and it's almost dark, anyway. Look, if he's not back by tomorrow, I won't stop you. I'll even help you look."

"Tomorrow," the Ranger replied, his tone making it very clear that was the absolute longest he would be willing to wait.

Ellie wasn't stupid - she would take what she was given. "Tomorrow," she repeated.

A second later, there was a light rap against wood.

Molly barked, then both of them were on their feet and lunging at the door. It swung open to reveal none other than Halt's rumpled, weary, swaying apprentice.

"I'm back," he said simply... then his knees threatened to buckle. Halt instinctively reached to catch him - a feat that was easier said than done, especially when someone was nursing a shoulder injury and had an apprentice that was as tall and lanky as Gilan. Ellie quickly slipped in to help, and between the two of them, they were able to keep the apprentice somewhat upright.

"What's wrong?" Halt asked, his voice sharp with worry. "Are you hurt?"

Gilan mumbled something, his head drooping, and Halt adjusted his grip to try to get a better view of his apprentice's face.

In the exact same second, Ellie and Halt both saw the blood that colored the older Ranger's fingers.

The next moment, Halt was furiously pawing at his apprentice's tunic. "Where? Where, Gil?!" Ellie could hear the raw panic in his voice - she was feeling slightly panicked herself as she reached to palm the boy's forehead, feeling for a fever that would indicate an infection. Blood, bleeding, infection, _dying, no_-

"Ugh. I'm okay," the apprentice murmured, weakly shoving at their probing hands. "Stop pawing. It's not even deep, just, stop digging your fingers around it."

Halt's fingers finally brushed the tender spot, evident by the way that Gilan violently flinched away. The older Ranger quickly drew the boy's tunic up now that he knew the exact location. As she saw the wound, Ellie calmed, immediately able see that Gilan was correct - the cut in his lower back wasn't deep, really... but it was deep enough that it probably hurt like the dickens when prodded by searching hands.

Halt exhaled roughly, and Ellie backed away as the Ranger turned the boy's thin shoulders to face him and drew his apprentice into a firm embrace. "What were you possibly thinking? You scared me half to death," Halt murmured, barely audible.

"Someone's got to keep you on your toes," was Gilan's response, though the boy's evident fatigue made it hard to hear the intended cheek.

Halt didn't seem amused. "Why would you do it alone? You could have died."

"You weren't exactly conscious to make any objections, Halt," Gilan answered, rubbing at his eyes. "I didn't have a lot of options. Look, you can yell at me all you want later, but I'm really, really tired..."

"I know you are. You've done well, Gilan," Halt answered, releasing his apprentice from the embrace and eyeing the boy carefully. "We need to take care of your back, then you can rest."

As she watching the interaction between the two Rangers, Ellie almost felt like a stranger in her own home. Halt had taken on a gentleness that seemed reserved solely for his apprentice, and even then only during times of extreme worry. She stared dumbly for a second, taking in this newfound persona, when she realized that Halt was speaking to her.

"Ellie?" He prompted again, his hand still resting on his apprentice's arm. The woman shook herself.

"Right. Of course. Come sit down, Gilan."

Halt guided his apprentice to a seat while Ellie pulled up a second chair along with a bottle of disinfectant and a clean rag. Seeing the grim Ranger, hovering like an anxious mare over her newborn colt, the woman resisted the urge to smirk. The man's formidable demeanor wasn't fooling anyone.

The boy sat stoically as she flushed the cut with water, but as she dabbed on the disinfectant, Gilan winced, unable to stop his back from arching away from the bite of pain. Though it was a small wound, disinfectant on any open skin _stung_.

"Sorry," Ellie whispered sincerely, her face a tight grimace. She hated causing pain, even when it was unavoidable. "I'm sorry."

A slight smile graced Gilan's face as Ellie began to put a dressing on the broken skin. "Don't be," the apprentice assured her. "I'm fine. If he had grabbed me instead of just taking a swipe with his knife... I'd be much less alive."

"What happened?" Halt asked, his expression dark. As she watched the ire growing on the Ranger's face, Ellie decided then and there that the receiving end of this man's anger -specifically, this very special wrath that only occurred when his apprentice was threatened- was a _very_ good place _not_ to be.

Gilan sighed as the woman rolled out a bandage. "We were fighting close and the one took a chance at the swipe," he said with a shrug. "He was overconfident - he ended up unbalancing himself. It was easy to just... unbalance him a little more. I wanted to just knock him unconscious so I could tie him." The boy paused, biting his lip before softly finishing, "He... fell on his own knife. He looked so surprised."

"They never think it will happen to them," Halt replied slowly, and Gilan's eyes dropped.

"I didn't mean to kill him," the boy murmured.

He sounded so distressed that Ellie gave his arm a comforting squeeze as she finished securing the bandage. Halt frowned, reaching out to touch his apprentice's shoulder.

"Gilan. He fell on his own knife. You didn't kill him, but even if you had... No one would fault you or think less of you for it. He was trying to kill you, and would have done so without losing a second of sleep over it." The Ranger's face darkened in fury again, and Ellie had a sudden thought that the other man was lucky he was dead. People didn't respond well to someone who had _tried to kill their kid_.

Gilan nodded, clearly still upset, but seeming somewhat comforted by his mentor's words. Ellie stood him up and gestured towards her spare bedroom. "Get some rest now - you've earned it."

Both Ellie and Halt watched the boy enter the other room and shut the door. "That was a lot of exertion for you so soon," the woman said, nodding towards Halt as she eyed him with worry. "You should get some rest, as well."

"Yes," the Ranger replied absently, still watching the other door.

Several minutes later, when soft crying floated into the living area, Halt entered the guest room and didn't come back out.

Ellie knew better than to comment.

* * *

The Rangers left a day later.

"Be careful," Ellie cautioned as she watched them ready their horses to leave. "Don't overdo it."

Reach down to stroke Molly's head, Gilan smiled, his face simply shining now that it wasn't disfigured with fear and worry. "We won't. Thank you, Ellie."

Gilan's smile was utterly contagious, Ellie realized as she grinned back, feeling the smile reach her eyes for the first time in a long time. The expression felt slightly foreign, but... good. "Take care, Gilan. Try not to worry Halt so much."

Gilan smirked before turning to his bay mare and mounting. The boy always seemed to be in a hurry, Ellie thought with a fond shake of her head. A moment later, Halt stepped up and gestured to her hand. Not without confusion, Ellie opened it, only to have a handful of coins dropped into her palm.

"I know it's not enough, but it's all I have with me. When I get back to Redmont Castle, I'll make sure you're suitably compensated."

Ellie gave a short laugh and tried to hand the coins back. "Oh, I can't take this - talking to you helped, and that's payment enough. Use it to buy Gilan a seed cake or something - heaven knows he needs the groceries. Besides," she added, not without humor, "I'm retired, remember?"

Halt didn't take back the coins, but he did raise an eyebrow, his dark gaze steady. "About that. You're good at what you do," he said as he turned to mount his stocky grey horse. "You should consider hanging that sign back up; you might be surprised."

They both raised their hands in farewell, then wheeled their horses toward the road. Ellie watched them until they were out of view, then walked back inside, giving her house a long look. It suddenly felt too empty.

Maybe she _was_ too young to be retired. Coming to a decision, Ellie walked back outside and picked up her sign, wiping it with her sleeve before carefully putting it back on its hanger.

There were still a lot of people that needed help.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are loved.**

**-TrustTheCloak**


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